Lindsay's Life · Parenting

A Toddler Mom’s Open Letter to Her High Heels

Open letter to heels

Dear High Heels

 

We need to talk.

This letter has been coming on for a while now; I know you’ve been thinking this too.

I’d like to let you know, it’s not you, it’s me. I’ve noticed that we’ve been living past each other lately and it’s not fair to either of us. It’s not that I don’t love you; it’s just that we are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We’ve had our fun, but I’m looking for something more. You’ve been there for me during the best and the worst of times. Some of you have accompanied me to job interviews, weddings, parties, clubs, dates and even funerals. I’ll always be grateful for the time we’ve spent together.

To those of you I’ve purchased, but never worn, I apologise for leading you on. Please take comfort in knowing that you have moved me to purchase you based on your immense beauty, despite your obvious impracticality.

All of you are beautiful in your own way, but my needs have changed.

I’m not saying that we should break up; I just need time to figure motherhood out on my own.

Running around after a toddler in heels as sexy as it can be, it’s just not practical right now.

Also after being cut up by that closet butcher masquerading as a gynaecologist, my core is just not strong enough to support the both of us.

What I need right now is comfort and stability and those are two things you can’t give me.

We’ve tried therapy over and over again, but you’ve heard what the podiatrist said, there’s no fixing this.

You like to go out to restaurants and clubs all the time, but I have no energy for that after mopping up vomit, baby food, spilt milk and runny poop.

The last time I took you to bed you ruined everything! Not only did you rip my last remaining post-natal pair of stockings, but you had the audacity to stab my partner in the eye!

I know I’m a little rusty after the baby, but you’ve become a bit rough for my liking. It’s borderline possessive to be honest.

I’m afraid that if we continue on this path, one of us is going to snap.

So I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways.

Although you know I’m not somebody who flip flops; I just need something more secure without looking like a new born baby giraffe with every step I take.

I guess this is the end of our journey and I wish you well.

Go find the happiness you deserve and maybe one day when I’m finished popping out babies our paths will cross again.

 

Sincerely yours,

Toddler Mom

 

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69 thoughts on “A Toddler Mom’s Open Letter to Her High Heels

  1. Oh, how I loved this. Related on so many levels for so many years, although I’m pleased to say that me and mine have started reacquainting again after many years apart. Though not quite so frequently. And generally only for a few hours at a time. Thanks for a good laugh, I really enjoyed reading this. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My husband looks at my heels sometimes and sighs.

    Everyone warns you life changes after kids but some how it just doesn’t sink in till you’re running after a naked toddler who just took their diaper off.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha ha! “Also after being cut up by that closet butcher masquerading as a gynaecologist, my core is just not strong enough to support the both of us.” I do have to say, my heels get an appearance from time to time now, but my baby is 7. Give it time. Don’t give up on them yet. Put your favorites in a shoe box in the corner. Then they won’t get dusty. All that said, don’t take them to bed. You might put a hole in your sheets, and sheets are SO expensive! Loved this. Nice to meet you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love it! I can relate, I went as far as to donate all of my heels. I have gone on to regret it every now and then but can’t think of the last time that they would have come in handy. I’ve always been more of a tom boy anyway so I’m fine with my sneakers in many colors and Nike flipflops that have since become my go to footwear. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve never been one for sneakers, but I’ve purchased so many pairs over these past few years. I’m slowly starting to donate my heels to younger cousins who can actually use them. It feels so sad to let them go, especially the ones I haven’t worn yet.:)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I put them all in a bag and gave them to my husband to donate to people that I knew would use them. Didn’t think twice about it at the time. Then I’d see pictures and miss them but that was the extent of it. I’ve always been obsessed with a good pair of sneakers. Pumas are among my favorite, but I’m surprised how much I prefer my Nike flipflops. Doesn’t hurt there’s no real winter where I live so I can wear them all of the time!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Your Nike flip flops sound so comfortable. I’m a Haviana hoarder. Mr is a Converse addict so I followed his lead and purchased a few pairs. I think it’s just the one pair that I’m holding on to – Mr bought these sky high platforms for my birthday a few years ago and I still haven’t worn them. I feel so bad about it.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I love them because they are like memory foam for my feet. Light but supportive and comfy. I’ve bought the same pair 3 times and only because they were worn until they fell apart. That said they have each lasted several years…more than I care to admit. One of these days you’ll have to break them out for a special occasion and surprise him 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Just wanted to let you know that you walked your way right onto my nominee list for the Liebster Award 😉 No pressure to accept or participate but you can find the details in the link below should you choose to. Just FYI I linked to your blog and this post specifically for people to check out so I hope you get a few extra clicks whether you decide to partake or not 🙂

    https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/2016/03/22/liebster-award/

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My heels and I parted ways after my first son was born. The second son followed a mere 18 months later so there was no chance of reconciliation with my heels. We did get back together for a while in my late 30’s but, after my accident, I had to file divorce papers. It’s not that I didn’t still love my heels. It was that I looked like a beach ball balanced on toothpicks.

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  7. A very amusing post because it is actually true. You will reacquaint yourself with your high heels again in a few years although the high part might not be as high. Now hold on to your feet because once you hit about the age of seventy all of your high heels will be in dry dock forever. You can assemble a small museum in your wardrobe (closet) and possibly slip your feet into them occasionally but you will never strut your stuff in them again. However they will bring back some fond and funny memories that you can write about. :o)…..Thanks for sharing.

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  8. This was just too funny and too true! I am a grandma now and once I left the heels behind I never found them back. I tried once or twice…..truly I did. I have worn them to my son’s weddings….just not very high – high heels. If I could relearn how to walk in them I might take them back……..Nope. Life is to short to be uncomfortable. It is also hard to get off and on a tractor or bale hay with those things LOL.

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  9. This is hilarious Lindsay 🙂 This really is a ‘break-up ‘ letter to your heels. I am sure in time, you will get back together, maybe just for that special dinner with Mr or the special occasion. Thanks for the laugh. Happy weekend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol! You know he is coming back so I decided to put them on again so that I’ll be a professional by the time he gets home.I needed some panado for the pain in my knees. I could hardly sleep last night. Haha. Thank you for reading this. I’m glad I could make you laugh.

      Liked by 1 person

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