The rise of Prenatal and Postnatal Depression amongst men has prompted a conversation between Mr and me about the role of men while their partner is pregnant.
Pregnancy is pretty much about me, I’m carrying the baby, I have the aches and pains, I have the Morning Sickness, I have the stretch marks and I have the C-section scar. So where does he fit in while all this is happening?
Mr wanted to be involved both pre and post pregnancy so that was one battle won. One way to get him involved was having him at ultrasounds and doctors’ visits. This ensured that he bonded with baby from the first ultrasound till the last. He missed the first ultrasound, because I was in hospital. For more on this story read my post Pregnancy Tests. Mr’s role could not be replaced by someone else like my mother or sister, because my mother isn’t one to get involved in all the details of my pregnancy and I’m an only child so no sister to compete with. So we made decisions together. We decided who would be in the birth room with me – it ended up being just Mr and me, so I joke that he is the only person in the world who knows me inside and out. We decided on whether to circumcise at the hospital or not, what culture our son would follow, what to name him, etc.
I ran most of the financial matters through Mr, even though I was earning my own money. This was another way for him to get involved. He helped decide what we would buy for baby and how we decorated the nursery. He travelled a lot (work related) while I was pregnant and even after so I’m certain these moments were treasured by him as much as they were by me.
Lastly, he took the reins after baby was born. I was recovering from a C-section and he had the more active role as a parent in those early days. He bathed and massaged baby, he was cooking and cleaning, he shushed and rocked baby to sleep, all I had to do was feed him. This was so necessary to ensure a steady postpartum recovery.
Did your partner suffer from Pre or Post Natal Depression? How did you get your partner involved pre and post pregnancy? Let me know by commenting below!
I’d love to hear from you.
Love and Blessings,