Lindsay's Life

The WordPress Widower

the wordpress widower.jpg

One night I was typing away rapidly in the spare room of our home, the door was shut and the rest of the family were inside. It was many hours after the Little One had been put to bed and the only time that I get to complete any work. It must have been around 12AM and Mr was getting ready to turn in for the night. He knocked on the door, but I didn’t hear him because I had my headphones on with loud music blasting in my ears (it’s the way I work and the best way for me to get anything done, including cleaning). Mr burst in, looked at me and said:

“You don’t love me, you love WordPress” he uttered (along with other things that I can’t remember right now) in passing. I know Mr meant this as a joke, but I felt a tinge of truth in his voice. Was I spending too much time blogging and too little time with him?

This affected me to the point where I started cutting down on blogging and reading time to spend more time with the family. This is great, but I’m also feeling like I need some me time and blogging is that time where I get to express my thoughts.

Mr has been a technology widower before, once to Pinterest and Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing so this is not new to him. It’s a bit different for me because he has a job where he can go to the office and complete all his tasks there before coming home and having free time. I appreciate his role in the family and all the sacrifices he makes for us daily, but I’m just a mom trying to pursue my dreams too.

So now I’m seeking balance. I listen more closely to my family, spend real quality time with them, laugh and cry with them while carving out some time to do the things I love (and the things that keep me sane). I can’t say that I’m completely successful at achieving the balance yet, because it’s 1.30 AM here and I’m still typing away on my laptop. I hope to find a formula that works for me and my family. Maybe planning ahead is in order?

Is your husband/ wife/partner a WordPress widow/er? How do you strike a balance with blogging and work/family/home? Do you have any tips for me? Let me know by commenting below!

 

Love,

Lindsay Sign Off

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27 thoughts on “The WordPress Widower

  1. To be honest I spend more time blogging and editing photograph and learning photography than I like.. well not than I like, than I should is more thruthful. Most time I have to ‘slap myself’ to bring me back to earth were I have 2 children and a husband.. Blogging and photography are my hobbies and big loves but my family is my biggest love so I have to find a balance 🙂 I try…

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  2. I think all of us bloggers are in the same boat. I try and stay off WP when my hubby gets home, at least for a few hours during and after dinner. Late at night is usually when I do most of my work. I do feel guilty especially when he wants me to come to bed with him at 10.30pm and all I want to do is stay up, write and read. Yes, it’s all about achieving balance … and I’m still working on that one! 🙂

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  3. Oh LIndsay, I so needed to read this today…I feel what you are going through totally. I am in the same boat, I often get ‘you don’t love me anymore’ as I am on my computer the whole time. I desperately am trying to find balance. For now I have decided to do all blogging related things during the day, whilst my hubby is at work, then when he arrives home, it is dinner with the family and then our time. It is working, but I am left with loads of blogs unread, responses not being on time, and generally yes, the blogging is suffering….It is a tough one, but I will keep on trying 🙂

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  4. Oh boy! Now I know I’m not alone. I have tried to balance this by writing or reading when I know my husband is involved in something else, like watching the Red Sox or making a meal. If I use my iPad instead of my computer, then I can be ‘there’ with him. Also, if I have him read some posts, he is involved. -Jennie-

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  5. As a first time blogger I have no previous experience about blogging and neither does my husband. I do think though it can definitely affect a marriage if not kept in check. Especially if you are not both blogging together. I just decided to myself to refuse to blog during certain days of the week and when I do blog I set a time limit, when time v is up I am done, whether I competed a post or not

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  6. I cant believe you just posted that. I think we just started a support group. My husband was frustrated with me because while he was doing all the yardwork I was blogging, reading about blogging, etc. I am learning to balance. it is harder than it sounds. I try to limit my time more to before he gets home and after he goes to bed. I want to really be present with my family more but a part of my mind is going, “can I blog yet???”

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  7. Thanks for a great posting because it reminded me so much of my wife and I in a similar situation. She would always mention whenever someone would ask where I was… that he is with his mistress. Shocking… no because I was in our basement with my brand new Atari computer creating new programs for our children.

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  8. Great post. 🙂 My husband and I both blog so we are pretty understanding. That being said, on the weekends we take breaks. We will both work on our things for say 2 hours and then we break together for 2..and so on. That seems to work for us.

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    1. So you are saying I need to get him into blogging too? Haha, just kidding! Your schedule seems to be working, maybe I should try two hours at a time as well. Do you wake up early to blog or are you more of a night time blogger?

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  9. I can honestly relate to this because my husband is the same way I pick my phone up he’s already like oh god now your not gunna be off for hours and sometimes that’s all I can is be on my blog I’m a mom 24/7 and a house wife 365 days a year and sometimes life can become over bearing and we do need “me time ” which is horrible when we have a family to attend too but honestly who doesn’t ever need some space ?

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  10. I so get it. I wish I could carve out me time a bit more. I would love to work more on blogging and more on trying to get my shop running but my life just doesn’t permit it. I have tried to set aside me time but my kiddos always seem to need me anytime that I even think about trying to have a little me time.

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  11. Yes yes and … yes. But he is a night owl and I rise at 5.30-6.00 so I early morning work on my novel and blog , then while he has an hour of he time before he comes up to bed. I go up and use this time too what the eye doesn’t see … that way hit doesn’t impact so much. X.

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      1. Me too, it is onderful therapyand you get to meet so many interesting people from all over. It is something that is possitive about technology, which many times gets a bad wrap, as so many are so absorbed in it at times when they should not be.

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