Parenting

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Mr and I have been discussing placing the Little One in a playschool next year. I must admit that it has my stomach in knots, because I would like to place him in a school that is registered (that is a mission on its own). Then I’d like to determine whether to place him in a Montessori or more traditional playschool. I would like him to be happy, loved and encouraged at the school he attends more than anything else.

I didn’t have the best playschool experience as a child. My parents placed me in the care of my Aunt (who lived in the house behind ours at the time). I would cry every single day that I had to go to her playschool; even writing about it right now is making me emotional. I was too young to remember everything that happened there, but I know some form of abuse occurred that I’m still not able to express. I get a kind of anxiety attack when I think of my aunt or when I see her. I wish my parents would have seen the signs; they just laughed my fears off. My mother thought I just wanted to stay home instead of going to school, but it was much deeper than that. I’ve often contemplated going for hypnotherapy so that I could find out what happened and move on from it.

This experience has made me hesitant to put the Little One in playschool. Mr says it will be good for his development so I’m willing to give it a try. I’ve been shortlisting schools for the past few months now and I hope I’ll make the right choice for him.

I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and I came across this photograph.

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Can you see what’s wrong with this picture?

This was taken at Koetjes en Kalfjes, Heritage Hill, Centurion. The little girl in the photo is sitting by herself while her peers enjoy cupcakes. The photograph was sent to the mother of the child sitting on her own. Words cannot express all the emotions I felt after I saw this photo and read the accompanying story. I know that parents work their butts off to provide the best for their children. I can’t imagine how this made her mother feel as I’m sure she wouldn’t want to put her child in a place where she was ostracised, because of her race.

I wept for this little girl, she looks like she is used to being treated differently. I wonder if she mentioned anything to her mother or if she was so used to the emotional abuse that it felt normal to her. I hope that she doesn’t grow up thinking that she is less than, because she is not. She is precious and important. She has so much potential. She deserves to be loved and receive the same education as her peers, regardless of her race. I’m so sorry that this happened to her and I hope that the playschool is held accountable for their disgusting behaviour.

I don’t get angry about much, but this incident hit a nerve for me as a parent and confirmed my fears as I get ready to place my son in a playschool. I have read many comments on this issue and one that has come up constantly is that the mother should have put her child in a township or ‘black’ playschool instead of a ‘white’ one, but my view on this is that she should be able to place her child at any school she desires without having the fear that her child will be excluded by her teachers and peers.

I hope this story is a warning to other playschools that encourage exclusion and I hope that this behaviour is eradicated immediately so that everyone can have an equal and fair education.

For more on this story read the Timeslive article.

What is your opinion on this photo? Let me know by commenting below.

 

Love,

Lindsay Sign Off

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35 thoughts on “What’s Wrong With This Picture?

  1. Well, you did ask for my opinion, kind of anyway. Don’t do it. If you can stay home to be with your child, you can make a much better decision by taking your child to play at playgrounds, inviting other moms to get together with you to have outings, you can have a story hour. You can have a bake the cake day for the kids in your home or someone else home. You can take field trips to incredible places. You develop a support system that way. You teach your child and others to be accepting.

    I did day care when my children were very young. But I wish I could have just done groups of play children. My niece stays home, but she and the other moms go to the zoo, the museums, fishing, making crafts, playing outside, being creative.The moms keep track of who is doing what and they exchange children’s books, clothes, support, and more. Make your group, see how you can create diversity, see what you want your children to learn. Gifted children often excel this way, joining their peers in school a bit later but understanding concepts of language, math, science and yes, even Civics and history much better than children who go to day care. I can give you things to do. I have my Masters in Education and I’m certified Preschool-8th grade. Just ask and I’ll fill a whole blog about it.

    Don’t put your children in the situation that little girl is in. By doing that you are teaching the white children to be bigots and the black, well, you know what happens when you have a separate but “equal” society. Just look at the troubles the US is going through AGAIN. I get sick of the again.

    You’re a great mom, to fuzzies too. Socially, if you make sure that your children can meet and play with others, don’t push preschool.
    Ann

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for the reassurance Ann. I would love to find a mom group with children my son’s age. We’ve been visiting friends with children on the weekend and he really enjoys that too. I love that I can teach him a variety of subjects that he may not learn at playschool. Your comment means so much to me. I hope you have a wonderful day.

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  2. Legacies of Apartheid (aka racial discrimination all over the world). Until the minds of those in positions of power change, the system remains intact. It is sad, and I’d be willing to bet the little girl will grow up not fully aware of why she accepted and more than likely will continue to accept this type of treatment. It is ingrained (and consistently shown to us by society) in BLACK folks everywhere that we are indeed, “less than”. sigh. So many forms of abuse in the world that leave hidden, buried scars on our souls…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My first opinion is that you didn’t need the arrow. Outrage, empathy for the little girl and a heartfelt longing to pick her up and play with her.

    About pre-school — I share Ann’s feelings about that. Don’t send him someplace else if he can stay home. Invite other kids over; start a play group.

    I was a licensed Child Care Provider for more than 20 years, and we called what I did Day Care, but I don’t know how that differs from what you both refer to as play groups. We went on field trips to museums, parks, beaches, stores, walks around the neighborhood, and they played together all day. Is that the difference? Play groups are for only a few hours at a time?

    I read to them every day during lunch, and lunch was always a hot meal. When I had school aged kids, I helped them with their homework so their moms wouldn’t have to deal with that while they tried to fix dinner. Each summer had a theme (dinosaurs, Native Americans, Space, etc.) and each day had an academic component that used that theme. Monday: reading (when the kids who could read read to me). Tuesday: math. Wednesday: art. Thursday: kitchen science. Friday: video. I referred to it as a semi-structured program to help them retain the skills they’d learned the previous year. And I spelled it out in my contract that each child had the right to express the entire rainbow of emotions. I wouldn’t support gender stereotypes.

    I’m sure you’ll both make the decision that’s best for Little One. If you do put him in a pre-school, make sure they welcome you to show up unannounced at any time. Just knowing you can should help give you some peace of mind. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Sue. How have you been? I just copied the photo directly from Facebook with the arrow. I was thinking of doing an Early Childhood Development degree so that I can do something similar to what you did with your kids. It sounds like you had an excellent curriculum and I’m certain the children enjoyed every moment. An open door policy is definitely on my list.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve been well and busy — in a good way. How about you? I don’t know where you find the time to do all the things you do! If you do pursue that degree, I’m sure every child you work with will be blessed to be with you.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m not sure if they have mother’s day out or something that like that there? My son went to a special program last semester. He’s 3, and it was 2 days a week for a few hours. I will say that I trusted the person who referred us and we meet with the teachers and toured before hand. It did do a lot for my son. He was talking more and following directions more. Overall it did help him developmentally to be around other kids following instruction from adults other than mom and dad. I would like to get him into a Montessori school, but we can’t afford that right now. Those are pricey here :/

    However, I do have a hard time sending him off. I too had bad experiences when I was young. I am very sorry to read about yours, and this picture is heartbreaking. I say when in doubt, go with your gut feeling mamma.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I haven’t investigated it, but I should. There are lots of things happening in the next suburb, ours isn’t very busy. Montessori is quite expensive here. A few hundred rands more than conventional schools. I’m not sure which route we would go with. I think he’ll have a great time, I might be worried though. Thank you for commenting 🙂 I hope you have a fantastic week.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I placed my youngest daughter in daycare when she was two. She loved it. She was always very outgoing. I had no choice as I was starting university and there was no other option at the time. Fortunately, it worked out great. My youngest daughter never went to daycare. I was still in university, but her grandmother cared for her while I went to school. She’s much quieter than my other daughter and I don’t think she would have enjoyed the experience. Ultimately, we make the best decision possible for our children based on the options available to us. And so will you, Lindsay.

    I’m shocked by this photo. My heart goes out to the beautiful little girl who is sitting by herself. It’s so hard to believe that anyone would do this to a child. It’s discouraging and heartbreaking. The ability to treat anyone, let alone a child, with such cruelty is beyond my understanding.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. That picture has broken my heart for that little girl. She does not deserve that cruelty, and lets face it, some kids can be cruel. Shame on the teachers! they are no better allowing that separation to happen right in front of their own eyes ! There is no need for that! That precious little girl deserves everything, just as the others. We are all equal !!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve been fortunate to have family members (my sis wasn’t working at that time) that was able to care for my son until he was old enough to attend school. My heart goes to the beautiful girl in the photo. Would you know if her parents made contact with the workers there and changes were made? I can’t believe racism still exists. sigh. It’s so unfortunate.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The child no longer attends the school and the school is being investigated. I can’t believe it either. I’m so glad your sister was able to care for your son, you are very lucky 🙂 I hope you have a most wonderful weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. That is awful. I have to agree I would let him stay home. We took Corbin to one and when I inquired about diet restrictions they said he could sit at his own table, but really what was the harm in sugar? I was livid You want to ostracize my child because of his diet? And then undermine our families beliefs and values? Nope. Not going to happen. One of us is always available so he will not be going back to the Church Mommy’s Day Out.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry that he had to go through that. We don’t give our son sugar either and I didn’t think it would be a problem. I am so glad you stood your ground. He has a bright future ahead. ❤

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  9. Terrible photo! Shame on the teacher for allowing this to happen. Children learn through guidance and direction. That’s teaching. Please, difficult as it is for you to allow your child to go to playschool, it is a good thing. The best thing you can do in order to make a decision is to visit schools. Go on your own, then go again with your child. You will ‘just know’ if it’s the right school. -Jennie-

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I hope the little girl is at a better school now. Thank you for your advice, I’d like to visit as many schools as possible and make the decision from there. I hope him and I have a synchronised moment where we both love the school.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. This is so sad. I feel so bad for that little girl. What is wrong with the people running that place? I hope she grows up knowing that not everyone is like that, but that is how she is growing up, and I am sure she is not the only one. It will I am sure have an affect on her as she grows up. How can we change, if we do not teach our children better.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. There are some pretty bad role models out there too. Who ever was supervising those kids has no heart or dignity. It really is a shame, when somone has to be excluded like this. It is what is wrong with society as a whole. I would have hoped one of those kids would have been kind enough to think of that poor girl sitting seperated and alone and offered her a cake and sat down with her. Sad.

        Liked by 1 person

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