This Manifestation Monday post is quite close to my heart. Earlier this year I underwent a big change in my home life that I struggled to come to terms with.
My stepdaughter moved away to live with her mom in another state this January and is spending the three weeks of holiday with us. She hasn’t really been apart from us in the five years of our relationship and the separation was particularly difficult for me, because I was the primary parent since she started school. Caring for her and the Little One took up most of my time on a daily basis, but I didn’t complain because I love being busy. This role as “Holiday Parent or Weekend Parent” is very new to me and this is the first holiday that we’ll be spending together in our current parenting arrangement.
The time came for her to go and honestly, I was angry. I was angry that she left me. I know it doesn’t sound rational at all, but it was what I was feeling at the time. I also understood that she needed a time to get to know her mother, because she had never lived with her mother full time before.
I was also sad, because I missed her companionship (we all did). She has a place in our family and adds a certain dynamic that we only have when she’s around. I missed the laughter of children and the sound of them playing together. I even missed the mess that two children make. We were extremely close and still are now that she is back with us.
Most of all, I am sad that my son may not grow up knowing his sister. I am an only child and I never want him to feel that loneliness.
I have decided to let go of my anger and hurt so that I can enjoy our relationship exactly how it is now. Our time together is so limited and cannot be wasted. I let go of my anger towards her mom too, because I realise that she needs her daughter more at this current moment than I do. I am grateful that I have had enough time to create a strong and positive relationship with my step daughter that even though time has passed it feels like she hasn’t even left.
What are you letting go of today? Let me know by commenting below.