Setting strong boundaries is quite a difficult thing for me to do as I’m more of a people pleaser than I would like to admit. This puts me in many situations that I would not like to be in or doing something that I have no interest in doing.
Having boundaries is essential for all relationships, even those with family members and those closest to us. When we don’t set boundaries we often feel angry, irritated, emotionally detached. This puts us in a negative state of mind and allows ‘takers’ to enrage us further until an inevitable breaking point ensues.
When we set positive boundaries we take control of our lives, respect ourselves and interact easily with others.
I’ve had to sever ties with some family members who did not respect my boundaries at all, especially regarding my son and parenting principles. I found engaging with them toxic and did not like who I became when I was around them. Cutting them out of my life (as much as I could) was difficult initially, but necessary in the long run. I am so grateful that I was able to set those boundaries and feel so much better after the fact.
This was my first real lesson on how to set boundaries and it helped me realise the power of setting limits in my relationships.
Ways we can set firmer boundaries in our relationships include:
- Understand your own feelings and gauge how you feel when you interact with certain people.
- Take stock of the boundaries you’ve already set in your life and the reasons why you’ve set them.
- Identify the ‘takers’ in your life and minimize the time you spend with them as much as possible.
- Once you’ve identified the ‘takers’ in your life identify how they do not respect your boundaries.
- Think of ways of how to set the boundaries and make them known.
- Practice makes perfect – it’s okay to set boundaries that are small initially and move on to the bigger ones when you feel comfortable.
- Don’t feel bad for setting boundaries and always put yourself first.
Feel free to recite these boundaries affirmations with me:
I wish you a positive week ahead, filled with healthy relationships and encounters.
Love and Blessings,